God's Good Grace
by Roseau767
Summary: Set around episodes 11, 12 & 13 of season 2. What if the universe did have a plan for Sam and Andy?
1. Chapter 1

**AN- this is my very first fan fiction, having spent a long time reading and enjoying your stories I have taken the courage to submit something that has been in my head for some time. This story is a little different (I think) and is based on episode 11, 12 & 13 of season 2. I think I have probably watched them far too many times now as I am able to quote most of it word by word! I was struck by something Andy said when her and Sam were having their 'pillow talk' in episode 11 and this is the stem of my story. It started off as a one shot but it changed and grew into something different, so it is now in 3 parts, which I will upload if the first part goes well. Please review- the more constructive the better. Enjoy!**

**'No I do not own Rookie Blue, but I would give Diaz a kiss or two!'**

**God's Good Grace**

'Do you think the universe has a plan for us?' Andy asked dreamily. Her far away look and almost sad smile peaked Sam's attention. He himself was in another place too, but not one to believe in such things, laughed at her mockingly. His warm brown eyes staring at her intensely.

'Oh Yeah,' he chuckled sarcastically, 'It was undoubtedly fate that brought you into that bar tonight.' They both smiled. He continued caressing her back, causing Andy to sigh quietly, and pull her naked body closer to his.

'Ok, I might remember you saying something about it, but I didn't know you were going to be there.' Sam raised an eyebrow questionably. 'I didn't!' she said again, trying to control her laughter. The two star-crossed lovers, stayed that way for some time, talking and joking, at times falling into a comfortable silence. Both lost in their own private thoughts. Neither wanting the night to end, but both knowing that it soon would. The irony of the situation was that if they had spoken and told each other how they felt much sooner, they could be as they were, just not as they were. Not in an undercover apartment, not being held to ransom by her wrist watch, and not scared of being caught.

The universe did have a plan for them, which was written a long time ago. Regrettably, that plan had been redrafted several times since, and this was the final version. It had to have a conclusion for Andy and Sam, good or bad. Their patience was being tested, as well as their ingenuity in continually setting the two of them back on the right path. They had tried and failed so many times already, whispering over and over again: _Tell him, Tell her, Talk to each other_, but to no avail. Tonight wasn't actually part of the final version, he was have supposed to have picked up her call the night he went undercover, listened to her message and the rest as they say is history. But with all things there are opposites, a negative to the positive and the negative was just one step ahead of the universe that night. The negative had a plan of destruction, but so did the universe, and they were ready to counter attack.

_God's Good Grace. _How appropriate they thought. It was through his grace that Sam and Andy were there. Together. Finally. Her part in this story had shifted drastically, having now been promoted as the catalyst. She had no idea that this was her new designated role, and she had no idea how she ended up at the Alpine Inn that night. It was the truth when she said she hadn't expected to see him there. She just had a strong feeling and trusted her gut. People give this feeling many names, but however you choose to view it, she had an overwhelming desire to go back and see 'J.D' one more time. She knew she may never see him again, he was moving in dangerous circles. Her gut was working optimum that night, because she was very close to the truth. J.D was living on borrowed time, and these few precious stolen hours would be all she had to remind her of what they had, what they could have had.

The universe was whispering to her to seek him out, and like a magnet she was drawn back to the bar. She had no idea what she was going to say to him when she got there, but she had to say something. _Talk to him, Talk to him_, _Talk to him_, their whispering was almost reaching a crescendo.

'I'm gonna be on a plane is a couple of hours for Appleton, and I'll be out of your life. So if you're not doing anything in the next couple of hours….'

Time stood still for a moment and the universe was momentarily quiet, then turned their attention back to Sam. _Talk to her, Talk to her, Talk to her_. Their chanting was reaching its climax. Brennan must have heard it too, and it would seem his heart was not so completely rotten after all. He sent J.D after her.

Yes, the universe did have a plan for them, but it could end in heartache.

They illuminated the couple once more, bathing them in a warm moonlight, watching them tenderly say their goodbyes to one another. This really was the final chapter for these two, there was no going back. Their story would either begin or end as abruptly as it started. So summoning all the energy, all that is right in the world, the universe tried to bring these two broken people together and make them whole.

_God's good grace, God's good grace, God's good grace, _they whispered over and over again.

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><p>In the beginning…..<p>

She had tried so hard with her father, she knew what people were saying about him, but it was always negated by his love for her, and he was all she had in this world. He was unreliable, weak, self-pitying and a drunk. But she loved him. She was tired though. By the time she was fifteen, she felt like she had the weight of the world on her shoulders. Cooking, cleaning, paying bills and the late night runs to bars to collect him when he had had too much to drink. She never showed it though, just kept smiling and saying 'I'm fine.' A phrase she continued to use throughout her adult life. A phrase which had become her Morse code to mean the very opposite. One day it had all been too much. She wasn't quite sure what tipped her over the edge, but once she started crying she could not stop. She lay on her bed and sobbed her heart out. She was crying for her father, her mother and her lost childhood. Most of all she was crying for the emptiness that she felt inside. She wanted a hug, to feel safe again, to be sure of where she was going with her life. She rolled on to her back looking at the moon through her bedroom window and sighed, then laughed and then cried some more. 'Is this really my life? Is this really it for me?' she said out aloud to nobody in particular.

She soon drifted off into a peaceful sleep, but the universe had heard her and was watching. They had a plan, but it would require her to keep her heart open. She had already constructed an almost impenetrable wall, but there were still several bricks loose.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN- Thank you for your reviews, feedback and alerts. You have made me very happy- I have spent the best part of today at work with a big smile on my face! I am glad you are liking the story so far. Enjoy!**

**God's Good Grace- Part 2.**

Sam was the best undercover cop anybody had seen. His tunnel vision helped him to stay focussed, solve numerous cases, and put many criminals behind bars. The problem with this tunnel vision meant he only ever saw the end goal. He never stopped to smell the roses; he would run straight past, never having time for niceties of the world.

_Always chase the dream, never the goal … Always chase the dream, never the goal, _the universe sighed in frustration. This was becoming their mantra.

His success was down to his unreadable face, which helped mask a myriad of emotions he could be feeling at any given point in time. Many seasoned officers in the force would make claim to nurturing this innate ability, but he learnt these skills from a very young age. His mother, a proud woman worked hard to provide for Sam and his older sister Sarah, working several jobs to make ends meet. She was their rock, and never went a day without telling them she loved them. His father on the other hand, was constantly in and out of jail, usually for several years at a time. Sam only ever met him twice in life, once when he was six and again when he was twelve. Sam had schooled the art of bluffing to such perfection, and could run his own master class. Normally when people asked where his father was, 'he's in the Navy' was his usual retort. He liked to keep things private and would rarely share his inner thoughts with anyone. His skills really came into play when the landlord came to collect rent, or when there was an outstanding bill that had not been paid.

'My mom is not here' he would say with a straight face. 'She's gone to visit her sick sister in Arizona…She just left ten minutes ago, she said she was going to pay the electricity bill, you just missed her…' His tales were endless.

Afterwards, his mom would appear from behind the door where she was hiding, letting out the breath she had been holding.

'You're a good boy Sammy; you know I love you right? Always,' she would say pulling him closer for a hug. He liked it when she called him Sammy. He like it even more when she hugged him, but of course he would never tell her that.

'I love you too mom.' And he meant it.

She was the only woman he had ever told that he loved, so when she died it hit him hard. It was just him and Sarah now; she was all he had in this world. He didn't need anybody, or want anybody else.

_Just for now, Just for now, Just for now,_ the universe acknowledged his wishes in his moments of grief.

He went off the rails for a while, doing things he is too ashamed to admit now in order to make ends meet. More significantly, however he drew into himself more. His father had rung once, some years later, asking for help with bail money. He was looking at a long stretch in Kingston Penitentiary and needed to disappear fast. Sam sent him the money and his dad was true to his word. Sam never saw or heard from him again. So Sam drew into himself just a little bit further.

He had an epiphany quite sometime after her death. The universe watched him curiously, as he filled in an application to join the police force, and they felt a sense of pride. He was going to turn his life around, be different than his dad and make something of his life. They still needed to rescue him from himself, but it would take time.

Fortunately for Sam, the universe had all the time in the world. The reason for the universe's success and longevity, was mainly due to its patience and persistence, both of which they had in abundance. Patience was paramount, as these things could sometimes take a while, and persistence because they were forever fighting a negative force that wanted to leave destruction and misery as its calling card. Persistence allowed them to keep trying, to never give up and to plan their approach meticulously, so it was timed to cause the 'right' reaction.

_Every action has a reaction, Every action has a reaction, Every action has a reaction, _they regaled in their infinite wisdom.

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><p>Andy had a family now. Well, not a typical one, some would even say slightly quirky. But she wouldn't change Tracey, Dov, Chris even Gail for the world. She felt part of something solid for the first time in a very long time. Sam was part of that too. It had taken her a long time to realise it, but if she was being truly honest with herself (and she had started to do so much more recently) she had always wanted Sam, but the feelings he evoked inside made her uncomfortable. Her emotions became so extreme and heightened when around him that it terrified her. When he made her angry, she physically could do him harm, when he made her laugh her jaw would hurt so much from smiling and when he held her close she felt so safe that nothing could harm her. So when he rang her that night at the Black Penny, she wasn't surprised but at the same time she was not expecting it. He did however create a new emotion in her when she spoke to him. She felt hope. Hope that there was a possibility for them to be happy and normal. So when he asked to see her, she said yes with all her heart, allowing a few more bricks of her wall to fall away.<p>

_God's good grace, God's good grace, God's good grace_, they chanted over and over again.

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><p>The second time they were together was even better than the first. He asked her to stay, and without hesitation she simply said 'ok.' She chastised herself for her past actions. She never wanted to run away from him again, she wanted to run to him. Andy was happy, Sam made her happy. The universe was content.<p>

_Love is patient, Love is kind, Love is patient, Love is kind_. The universe was playing a symphony of love in their honour. It felt like they were at an exclusive party and they were the only two guests. They laughed, they talked, and they made love. She was truly happy. So when Brennan saw her the following morning, and questioned her for still being there with J.D, after all she should be back in Appleton, working in the wonderful world of insurance. They had to become 'J.D' and 'Candace' again and continue the pretence. They were both fully aware that Sam was still undercover, and it was always at the forefront of their minds.

Brennan seemed to believe her explanation, or so he said, but the universe knew otherwise. Things were not looking good, so the universe sanctioned them one more stolen moment, which would probably be their last.

'…not for another fifteen minutes' Sam said, when Andy wanted to flee.

'Fifteen minutes? Why?'

'We need to make sure he's gone. Do you understand?' he said calmly. Gripping her firmly by both her arms and turning her to face him.

_Make it longer! Don't go just yet! One last time! Stay! _they implored.

'Are you sure fifteen minutes is even enough? Huh?' she hastily added. She wasn't quite sure where the notion came from. _The universe smiled._

So J.D and Candace became Sam and Andy once more. Languishing in a bubble sweat, lust and laughter, but mostly love. The universe did not rush them, it let them be, for soon they would be lamenting in tears, uncertainty and regrets.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN- Thanks for all your feedback and alerts. I have been re-working part 3 of this tale, and I have decided that 3 parts is not going to do this story justice. It's like it has taken on a life of its own and has grown into something even bigger than I imagined. I am thinking 5 parts (but possibly 6!) Anyway, as always... Enjoy!**

**God's Good Grace- Part 3**

Brennan sat outside in his car watching the entrance to J.D's apartment. He didn't want to start driving straight away, he needed to think. He needed to process and digest the information he had been given by both J.D and Candace, but it was his conversation with J.D that was of particular interest. Something didn't quite add up in their story, and he needed to figure it out.

_Let it go, Let it go, Let it go, _they whispered. It didn't seem like it was working.

He didn't want to approach things, in his usual aggressive manner; he wanted to do things differently this time. He hadn't been 'that' Jaime Brennan in a long time. The tormentor, torturer and murderer. A vile and despicable man, the prime suspect in six murder cases. Six murder cases that they never had enough evidence to charge him with.

_Six that they know of…_, they said inadvertently, not once taking their eyes off him.

Maggie never saw him that way. Sweet Maggie. She saw past all that.

'Everybody has a past Jaime. The question is what we do with the future?'

Always wise, always thoughtful and kind. That was Maggie. She said she didn't want to know about what he'd done, and as long as he promised to leave it all in the past, she was willing to be with him. So in the blink of an eye, he left it all behind and made a future with her. He still couldn't believe she wanted him, nobody else ever had. She loved him unconditionally, which was something he had never experienced before. Once he savoured it, he would have done anything to keep it. People said he had turned soft, didn't have what it took anymore, but he didn't care, he was happy.

He wasn't always happy; after all he was a product of an abusive childhood and Children's Social Services. He had moved from so many foster homes between the ages of seven and sixteen, that he had stopped counting. The shortest time he spent with any family was three days. The Randall's. They said they couldn't handle him, that he was out of control and that he had killed their dog Buster. So yes, admittedly he did have a tendency to pull the legs off spiders, and throw bleach on ants or throw stones at the neighbour's cat, but he didn't kill Buster. Well… not intentionally anyway, it was self defence. Stupid dog.

When he started receiving the phone calls and then the letters in his mailbox telling him to watch his back, he never once thought they would go after Maggie. Sweet Maggie. He had just spoken to her earlier on that fateful day, she said she was taking their little girl to the mall, she needed new shoes. She was starting Kindergarten in a weeks time.

And now they were dead, his perfect wife, his perfect daughter, his perfect family. Dead. Killed by faulty breaks in their car, the car he had just had serviced a week prior. He never told the police about the death threats, there was no point. They didn't seem that interested in his plight anyway. To be honest the amount of people who held a grudge against him was so huge, it would be like looking for a needle in a haystack. So he tried to get on with life, and he was doing miserably. He didn't know what to do without his family so he simply existed. The anger he felt was dangerous, and he could feel the demons inside him clawing their way out.

When he and J.D went to the Alpine Inn, he actually smiled a little for the first time since the 'accident'. They played pool against two lovely ladies from out of town. Something about attending a conference, but in all honesty he wasn't really listening, as one of them had caught his eye. He could see Candace was sweet on J.D, but that was alright as it was 'Doreen' that intrigued him. She stirred something inside him, her long black hair tickled against his face whilst she was leant over to make a shot and he took in a small breath. He felt slightly ashamed at that thought. He relented though, deciding he was only human after all. Besides what would Maggie say?

'Better to be feeling something, than nothing at all Jaime. When you stop feeling then you know you are dead!'

He chuckled and shook his head. Maggie. His Maggie. How he missed her.

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><p>Sometime later, a great deal longer than their allotted fifteen minutes, Andy emerges from the apartment refreshed and invigorated. The cold winter air could not cool the heat that was seeping from her heart. She was happy and full of hope. Then Brennan reappeared and her gut was screaming at her, but she couldn't understand what it was saying.<p>

'Candace, where you heading?' he asked.

'Just down town…..' she tried to remain calm.

'Alright, Hop in, I'll give you a lift.'

The negative and positive were talking over one another, both vying for her attention. _Scream_, _Run, Hide, Stay, Run, Scream, Hide, Stay, Stay, Run, Stay._ He kept insisting, and not wanting to blow Sam's cover, she accepted his ride. They talked about lots of things on that journey, about the death of his wife and daughter and the fact that he didn't think it was an accident. She tried to respond appropriately, remembering the skills Sam taught her in another life and another time, a million miles from where she was now. She was sure he was going to kill her. Brennan had considered it, but he wasn't completely sure. Were they really together? Was she a cop too? There was no point in killing her, if it wouldn't hurt J.D or fill him with some sort of pain. He decided J.D was just using her, something to amuse himself whilst he was undercover. He actually liked Candace, she was beautiful, sweet and trusting, just like his Maggie. Still, he wanted somebody to hurt and to take away the misery he was feeling in the pit of his soul. He was confused, his mind was racing, but he wanted revenge.

_Make it right, Make it right, Make it right, Make it right,_ they begged.

So he decided to set her free, give her the money for a flight back to Appleton, away from J.D and his lies. Away from what he had decided that very moment to do. Maybe this could be some sort of penance, some sort of offering to the Gods above to release him from his internal torment. He owed his wife and daughter justice, he had to make things right. Brennan had questions, and J.D was the one that could provide him with the answers.

_Be true to yourself, Be true to yourself, Be true to yourself,_ they said soothingly.

Brennan shook his head of such thoughts. Somebody knew what really happened, and he was determined to find out who that person was.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN-Thanks for the alerts [plenty of those] and reviews [not so many of those:(]. I decided there is one more person that needed examining a bit closer in this story. Any ideas who? Reviews make my day. As always, enjoy!**

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><p><strong>God's Good Grace- Part 4<strong>

Detective Donovan Boyd. Good looking, strong, and exuding confidence. It had taken him several years to master his facade. Everything he did, said and wore was selected to give a subtle message to those around him. The leather jackets, the fast car, the fancy apartment, the attitude. He needed to validate his self worth, and the only way he knew how was to have an exaggerated sense of self importance. Every morning he would jog 5 miles, lift weights and most importantly 'visualise'. Visualising was something he had learnt at a life coaching seminar in his early twenties. It was all about self belief and visualising where one wanted to be several years from now. For those that knew him, it was fairly obvious. Donovan Boyd wanted to be the head of Guns and Gangs, and he was prepared to do what ever it took to get there. Whilst this was true to a certain extent, it was only a small feature of the bigger picture. In reality what he really wanted, no needed, was to be at Northvale High School class reunion, set two years from now, where he would wipe the smile of Corey Edwards face. Corey Edwards mercilessly bullied him throughout high school, and made his life a living hell. He actually went through several years of counselling to deal with the panic attacks as a result of it all. So yes, he wanted to be head of Guns and Gangs so he could show Corey that he was a success, had made something of his life and was worth something. He was no longer that tall, lanky kid with severe acne and a stutter. He wasn't 'Dorky Donovan' or 'Bubble-Butt Boyd' anymore. He was somebody important.

_No need for revenge. Those that hurt you will always hurt themselves in the end, _they said knowingly.

They had seen the effects of the bullying on a young Donovan, and held him to their bosom time and time again. The universe had long since dealt with Corey Edwards. Twice divorced, declared bankrupt and sleeping in his car, the last time they checked in on him. They didn't envisage him actually attending the class reunion, as his situation was unlikely to change anytime soon.

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><p>He now had a good resume building up over the years, primarily due to using Officer Samuel Swarek in most of his undercover work. Sam was the best, and if anybody could crack a case he could. He liked Sam a lot, and although he never vocalised this, he respected him. He was a bit of a maverick, and played by his own rules but always got the job done. Well almost. That rookie, McNally messed things up the last time he was undercover, she was a liability. That's why he had to get Sam under quickly this time, as he sensed some hesitation when he asked him to join the team again. So he fabricated the situation to separate them as soon as possible, he needed Sam to do this. If he could get Jaime Brennan sent away, for several unsolved murders he was sure to be considered for promotion. Sam could have gone under in three weeks time as originally planned but he could not take the risk. Anything could happen in three weeks, and he just had a strong feeling that McNally would use her charms and convince him to stay. Sure she was pretty, but what Callaghan and Swarek saw in her, he would never fully understand.<p>

So the assignment was rushed, but the cover apartment, camera and wire were all in place, the major things were sorted. He made sure of that himself. There were a few minor things, but they could wait. He couldn't foresee any problems, nothing should go wrong. Could it?

_Slow and steady wins the race, Slow and steady wins the race, Slow and steady wins the race_, they said woefully.

Now Sam was gone, leaving a bloody trail in his wake. Nobody knew where he was. All they knew was that both Brennan and Sam had disappeared. Donovan was anxious and scared but refused to show it. Instead, he chose to berate everybody and anybody at arms length. He really wanted to scream at himself, somewhere he had made an error of judgement, but he did not know how. So when in dire straits, he did what he did best, blame everybody else, but never forgetting to look good, act strong, exude confidence and most importantly visualise.

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><p>Andy was alone, she was desperate, and she needed Sam. He would know what to do; J.D would know what to do. Why didn't she know what to do? She sat with her head hung low, trying to control her breathing and tears. She was scared, not for herself, but for Sam.<p>

'What am I gonna do? Please tell me what am I supposed to do?' she pleaded, her eyes searching Traci for the answer. Traci looked at her friend, she did not know what to say. The universe had no answer for her either, for they were otherwise engaged. Not too far away they were keeping vigil in an uninhabited farmhouse, willing the captor to stop in his immoral intentions, and the captured to stay alive.

_Steady, Steady, Steady,_ their whispering engulfing Sam with a sense of calm and resilience.

'Where the hell is Candace?' _Most smiled, some sighed, a few cried at his concern._

'Dropped her off down town.' Brennan stated casually.

_Steady and calm, Steady and calm, Steady and calm, _they chanted. They knew things were bad, but needed to ascertain the severity of the situation.

'What are you doing?'

'Just looking for some answers.' Brennan was composed, he wanted to know. Everything.

'Answers for what?'

'Questions that I have…'

'And what makes you think I got answers?'

'God's Good Grace' he said slowly, without any doubt.

'My boat?'

_The universe sucked in a sharp breath, and waited in anxious anticipation. Yes…things were bad._

Brennan continued to talk, in a low, but self assured way. He spoke candidly about his past life, the people he knew and what he knew. And he knew a lot. He knew about the boat, the one that was seized by the police department. God's Good Grace.

So there it was. Sam had been made; Brennan knew he was a cop. He had been caught out. Not because he was sneaking around with Andy, not because he made a mistake, but because of the boat. A boat that had been provided by Donovan Boyd. He thought about Andy at that moment, and how he would give anything to be normal with her, making out and drinking grapefruit juice in bed. He was certain he would never see her or any of his friends again, and resigned himself to a very slow and painful death. If the reputation of Brennan was correct, they probably wouldn't even be able to identify his body in the end. His thoughts were interrupted by an almighty blow, as Brennan struck him once, causing him to fall back on to the ground with a loud thud.

Brennan was a determined man, and J.D was his lifeline to the truth. He needed to know what happened to his family, in order to make sense of his life. He was on a mission, and he would not leave the farm house until he knew for sure what really happened. He would stay as long as it took. He didn't expect it to take as long as it did though; usually they broke a lot sooner. He didn't know where J.D was getting this inner strength from and he was finding it hard to break his resolve.

As more time passed, his hate for J.D was began to dwindle, and felt a new found respect for the guy. He stood for something, just like Brennan stood for something.

This was going to be a battle of wills.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN-Thanks for the reviews and alerts everyone, I am sorry if I did not get to repond to you all personally. I wanted to upload this earlier on in the week, but have only had my lunch breaks to work on it, so it was a slow process. Please review, and keep me motivated as I know the last few chapters will prove challenging. As always enjoy!**

**Disclaimer:I still don't own rookie blue or its characters :( **

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><p><strong>God's Good Grace- Part 5<strong>

Somebody had to be the one to break the news to Luke, and it would seem Jerry was the chosen one (or to put it bluntly, he happened to be in the wrong place at the right time). It would be hard for him to tell Luke, but with the only options available being himself or Boyd, and given their limited time, the universe decided he was the probably the most appropriate. Jerry was as considerate as one could be under the circumstances, but there really wasn't any nice way to say it. Besides Sam was one of his best friends, and his loyalties would remain with him always. When Luke asked him for the second time who Candace was, he had no choice but to comply. So trying to keep things simple, he told Luke the truth.

'It's McNally alright. She's been seeing Sam while he's undercover.'

Jerry turned his back and walked away quickly, mostly to avoid any backlash but mainly because he needed to stay focussed on Sam, and bringing him home. He still was reeling from the discovery himself.

Luke was shocked, rendered mute. Andy had been seeing Sam whilst he was undercover? He couldn't even begin to articulate what he was feeling at that precise moment. It was a combination of disbelief, confusion and hurt. For weeks he had been depressed, pining for her, thinking of ways to win her back, but she was already lost to him. Tempted away by a man whose best skills were lying! He thought he still had a chance, especially as he was the one who saved her from getting killed in that storage locker, but it was almost as if she hated him more because of it. Even the night of the quarantine, he tried to express his remorse, but she kept blocking their conversation, not wanting to talk to him, shutting him out. She was working on a case with Sam that night, apparently doing fine without him. Was that when they got together? He wasn't used to having to fight for anything or anybody; he generally got what he wanted without having to try too hard. He knew Sam liked Andy, and knew he had made a pass at her, but Andy chose to be with him not Sam. They were meant to be married; in fact they would have been married two months by now. They could have been happy.

_You never truly had her_, _Her heart belonged to another, It would never have lasted,_ they commiserated.

After this revelation, the snide comments and nasty remarks he continually threw at her throughout the investigation, did not go unnoticed by others, but it seemed to be having little effect on Andy. Her mind was fixed on finding Sam, and Luke knew it. He had blown it, his actions had sent her running towards the one thing he wanted to keep her away from. Sam. She had given Sam her heart, and it was as if that love was shielding her from his harsh words and criticism. Luke never stopped loving Andy, but she had stopped loving him. She had stopped believing in him, in them. He had lost her. She was gone.

The universe briefly pondered on Luke. He wasn't a bad soul, but just wasn't right for Andy. His function in their plan was only meant to be temporary, a minor role which somehow grew into something much more significant. The universe needed Luke to learn a valuable lesson about trust, love and ownership. The experience would be a bitter pill for him, but he would learn from it and grow into a more conscientious individual as a result. Normally he was the one in control, but they had decided that with his next relationship the roles would be reversed. Luke still had a few more life lessons to learn.

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><p>Andy was brave and courageous, a lioness, with a heart to match, but she had to stop licking her wounds. This wasn't the planes of Africa; there was no shade to hide under, and no time for self pity. Accusations had been alleged, and confessions had been made regarding her and Sam. She felt both embarrassed and foolish, trying to explain why they did what they did. To everyone else, their behaviour made no sense, but not to her at least and hopefully not to Sam. She felt the disappointment of Oliver, Jerry, even Luke, and despite it all she could not, would not degrade what they experienced together. She didn't care about their opinions enough for it to really matter. All she cared about was whether Sam blamed her for the predicament that he was now in. She knew their actions were dangerous, but she couldn't find it in her heart to regret it. She was overwhelmed by what they had shared together on both a physical and emotional level. She didn't even know she was able to feel that way. Did she wish things were different? Yes. Did she regret returning to the bar that night? No. Did she regret spending the night with Sam? No. Would she do it again? Yes. In a heartbeat. They were the best few days of her life. So how could something which felt that good make her feel this bad right now?<p>

Her family were her support during the long night, and it was through their support, they tried to locate Sam. They were like a pack, staying together in their pride sifting through the evidence, leaving no stone unturned. She felt calm that they were with her, not judging just caring. She couldn't give up on Sam, maybe he was still alive, maybe he wasn't, but as long as she wore her uniform she would continue to protect and serve. Right now, Sam wasn't just a police officer, or her lover, he was a person that was in danger and needed protecting. He was part of her family too. She had to forget about her own personal anguish, and the pain she was feeling in her heart. Whatever Sam had gone through or was going through could only be much worse.

'Don't over-think it' her mind told her, and she smiled almost manically as the voice in her head sounded just like Sam. Grumpy, irritable, sarcastic, but more often than not right. 'Hurry it up, McNally… Anytime, when you ready…..' She shook her head distrustful of this voice. Maybe she was going mad. It had been hours, and they still didn't have a definite idea of where Brennan had taken him. Her mind was an emotional rollercoaster, having been subjected to the callous interview techniques of Donovan Boyd, the lack of sleep, and the realisation that she had slipped up, was making her feel hopeless and completely useless.

'That feeling in your gut, you've got to learn to listen to it, it's telling you what you need to do...' said the voice again. Andy scoffed at it, because right now she could not hear a single thing. There was so much positive energy floating in the air that night. The universe was sending messages to Andy, Sam, Brennan and Boyd, but the negative was intercepting. Scrambling the messages to cause confusion, turmoil and ultimately death. Andy and Sam were connected on a much deeper level than she or anyone else not from their world would ever fully understand. They had not just come together on a physical level, but their energies had fused as one, they were soul mates.

The universe had made a smart move leading her to Sam that night, and an even smarter move in convincing Brennan to set her free. She was the catalyst to make things happen, to change the dire situation that Sam was now in. There was no doubt in their minds of this, they just needed to make her realise. So they sat and waited patiently; offering an occasional pat of the hand, a soothing word in the ear, a gentle stroke of the back, willing Andy to see what was in front of her, willing them all to keep pushing through. The records indicated a property, a farm house once belonging to Brennan's deceased wife. It was the only lead they had, and her gut told her he was there.

_Yes, Yes, Yes, _they said jubilantly_. _

The universe rose up, using all their energy to push Andy and her family out of the door. Brennan was spiralling out of control and the universe was losing their grip on the little goodness he still had preserved in his heart. If they waited much longer, they would lose their hold on him, and the negative would have won.

_Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! We don't have much time, _they said breathlessly.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN- Again thanks for your PM, reviews and alerts. We are now on part 6! This part was the most challenging to date, although part 7 just might take the prize!Reviews are most definitely welcome, they make my day and keep me going. As always, Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: No, I still don't own Rookie Blue.**

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><p><strong>God's Good Grace- Part 6<strong>

And so it continued. Over and over again, the questions, the beatings, the pain, the water. So much water.

Sam was unable to move, his hands and feet were tied to a chair. He was trapped, unable to escape from his torturer. Brennan gripped his jaw tightly, steadily pouring water down his throat. Sam tried to stay calm and not to panic, but it was no use. His lungs were contracting, his eyes were burning and he couldn't breath. He felt like he was drowning. He gasped for air, coughing and spluttering, whilst Brennan gave a quiet, but menacing laugh. Unable to think clearly, this was something Sam had never experienced before or ever wanted to experience again.

'What happened to my family?' Brennan asked. More water.

'Someone killed my family, and the police covered it up and you're gonna tell me who.' More water.

'Someone rigged my car. Just give me a name,' he said desperately. More water still.

'It wasn't an Accident, I know the difference. It didn't just happen.'

Brennan kept questioning him, and no matter how hard Sam tried to make him understand that he knew nothing, Brennan simply would not listen. He kept refilling the water bottle and pouring it down Sam's throat, showing no remorse. Sam could not reason with him, and although the universe conceded it was a reasonable assumption for Brennan to make, they still did not hold anyone fully responsible for the catastrophic display before their eyes. They knew Sam would disagree, and held Donovan Boyd responsible for this situation. Boyd had made a grave mistake, but the guilt he would feel after this was over, would be much more prolific than any retribution they could deliver. But there was no time to ponder on that right now.

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><p>Sam had several close calls in his life undercover, but had so far managed to talk his way out of them all. He was always able to empathise with the criminal, gaining their trust and putting them at ease. There were a few brief moments that night, but everything Sam said to Brennan was proving ineffective, and he really could not see a way out. It was now evening, several hours had passed and Brennan continued his rampage. Sam knew it would never cease, and the only way for it to stop would be death. He was actually looking forward to the reprieve. Sam wasn't a religious man, but hoped in the end, he would see his mother again. He had thought about her a lot over the last few days. He hadn't felt truly happy since she was alive, but being with Andy changed that. She gave him a warm feeling inside when her arms wrapped around him, holding him tight. The night she stayed over, they slept entwined, and he lay with his head against her chest. He could feel the steady beat of her heart, confirmation that she was real and not a figment of his imagination. That simple gesture, elicited memories of his childhood; of racing cars, playing baseball, riding his scooter and hot summer days before his mother died. His mom would have liked Andy, he thought.<p>

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><p>And so the questions continued. Sam kept talking, being as honest as he could. That was always the first rule of being undercover, staying as close to the facts as reasonably possible. He didn't know who killed his family. He wished he knew, he genuinely would have said. But Brennan would not listen.<p>

'Refill?' was all he responded, and walked away. Brennan stopped for a while, returning to grab a stool and sat facing Sam. He needed to make Sam understand the rationale behind his actions, and why he had to take the law into his own hands. His voice was filled with such love as he paused taking time to reflect on his family and what he had lost. His mouth turned at the corners into a soft smile, as he stared at a photo of them. A small reminder of what he once had. He talked about the first words of his tiny, perfect little girl. His daughter that was created by love, and knew nothing but love, and who made him good. He lamented at their loss and his mood turned sombre. He needed answers.

_Talk to him, Talk to him, Talk to him, He's hurting too,_ their whispering floating throughout the chilled air of the farmhouse.

'Jaime' Sam said softly 'I don't know who it was, and no matter what you do to me, that isn't gonna change.' Brennan still wasn't listening. He couldn't listen, he had to blame somebody for what happened, for the rage inside would destroy him.

_Maybe yourself?_

Brennan was mad and frustrated, and knew he was out of control. A very perceptive and highly intelligent man behind his malevolence. He knew it was impossible, but he desperately needed to speak to Maggie again, to see his little girl one more time, to go back to the place when they were happy, so he could say what was on his mind. He wanted to apologise for how things ended for them, but most of all he wanted to thank them, for loving him and allowing him to love them back. His family mattered, they were important, and he refused to let them become just a one page report to be filed away and forgotten. Marching over to Sam, he swung a hammer and struck him on his wrist hard. Sam cried out in pain. He hit him again, most probably shattering it that time, and Sam gave a piercing loud scream. Sam didn't know which pain was worse, the water or the unbearable pain that was now radiating through his arm and shoulder.

Sam didn't feel like being nice no more, Brennan certainly wasn't being nice, and had made his intentions very clear. He was pissed off and angry, he was tired, he wanted to see his friends again, and most importantly he wanted Andy. So he told Brennan a few home truths, and he did not mince his words.

'I'm not gonna kill you any faster if you piss me off' Brennan stated.

Sam started suggesting to him a few possible people who may have it in for him, and there were quite a few. Brennan was torn when he heard the names Sam listed. He wasn't that Jaime Brennan anymore, Maggie had cured him of that affliction. He was simply Jaime, a loving husband and father, nothing else. Sam did not like Brennan, he found him to be a monster, who deserved to be locked up and the key thrown away. What made him think he had the right to a normal life and family? He had destroyed so many other families with his merciless attacks on their loved ones.

'Your wife and daughter didn't deserve what happened to them, but it was only a matter of time because you didn't deserve them.' Sam had hit a nerve, and Brennan was agitated. He had dared to say what had been at the back of Brennan's own mind for some time, that he had caused the death of Maggie and little Gracie. The positive and negative were again vying for Brennan's attention, both desperately trying to convey their thoughts into his heart and mind. _Destroy him, Walk away, Kill him, Let him go, Stop now, Hurt him._ There was only so much the universe could say, they were stretched to their limit that night, channelling maximum energy in several different places at the same time. Each person needing their attention, but unable to give them the magnitude of their full power at that given time.

Sam continued with his tirade. 'You think you've changed, you haven't changed, look at you!'

There. He said it. He had made peace with himself and now waited to die. Death was at his side waiting, but so was the universe. The demons were clawing their way out, willing Brennan to kill him. He shook his head trying to clear the fog that was in his mind, but the anger and venom were still there. Brennan lashed out once more, punching Sam hard in the jaw, causing him to fall backwards again, but this time the chair broke. He walked out of the room, not looking behind him to notice, he needed to calm down, he was not going to get answers if 'JD' was dead. Maybe he would kill him afterwards.

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><p>Exulted in his new found freedom, Sam broke free of the chair that had helped keep him in bondage, one limb at a time. He was weak, tired, and disorientated. He was running on empty, depleted of any last reserves remaining in his body, and had nothing left to give. The universe had erupted, full of anticipation, but laced with anxiety and concern. It couldn't end this way, they were so close and they could not let the negative win. They had explored every avenue, ducked every bullet, made so many bad things right for Sam and Andy. If Sam were to die, the repercussions would be so great, and the devastation caused would ripple into the lives of many. The universe summoned all their energy, and united once more willed him one last time to take a stand, to fight for what was right, to right the wrongs, to protect and serve.<p>

_Rise Sam Ris_e! They cried.

They had one last card to play, and they held it close to their chest. It was all they had left, and its use could not be taken lightly. They were undecided whether to use it now, and looked to their commander for guidance who shook his head. Not yet, he silently conveyed. They nodded in understanding.

_Rise Sam Rise!_ They said again, scooping him under his arms and raising him to his feet. This was it, there were only a few more pages left in their plan, and the story would conclude tonight. Tenderly kissing his brow, and holding him tight, they stood with Sam and waited. This was battle between right and wrong, and very soon, there would be a winner and there would be a loser.


	7. Chapter 7

**AN- Here is part 7, and as I suspected it definitely was the most challenging! It wasn't just the content, but creating the mood and emotions of the characters involved, Brennan in particular. As a result it is much longer than previous chapters. I am pleased with it though, and I hope you are too. Please, please review and let me know what you think. Just as a warning, I do touch upon issues of death, not in any great detail but it is there as a running theme. There should be 1 more chapter after this, but you can never tell, I'll let my fingers do the talking! As always...Enjoy. X**

**Disclaimer: No, still not mine.**

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><p><strong>God's Good Grace- Part 7<strong>

Andy sat in the cruiser, watching the others approach the farmhouse. There were no lights on, and it appeared to be empty. Although it was in total darkness, she felt even stronger than ever that Sam was in there. Somewhere. She wanted to go in with them, to be there and see for herself, to show Sam that she had not forgotten him, but Oliver had refused, not allowing any further discussion on the matter. Thankfully, the universe did not need to channel that idea through to him. At that point in time, they still did not know what the outcome would be, but they were certain should Andy see a dead Sam, she would never recover. They needed her to remember Sam as he was, to savour her memories of the days gone past and their stolen moments together. Oliver was a good soul, a kindred spirit and could always be relied on to do what was right. Always calm and in control, a natural born leader, albeit an unlikely one. He would be welcomed into their realm, when the time was right, but for now he was archangel on earth, guiding and advising.

Andy did not argue with Oliver, on some level she was relieved by his refusal, as she was frightened of what would await her should she enter. She knew it made sense for her to stay outside, her gut was telling her the same, but she didn't want Sam to feel abandoned, she knew only too well how that felt. Andy just hoped that he was alive, and that her presence would be enough to show him the true extent of her feelings. So she sat apprehensively, her eyes mesmerised by the beams of flashlights dancing through the window panes. It would be dark inside and difficult for them to see without it. She knew the procedure, she had been part of those several times before, and it was something Sam referred to as a 'two-pronged attack'. Some would enter the building from the back, some from the front, but the key was all entering at the same time. She watched the beams of their flashlights again. Steady and controlled. She knew they couldn't rush; it had to be deliberate and slow, methodically clearing one room at a time before moving on to the next.

_Hurry! __This __way! __This __way!_ The universe walked along side the men, urging them to quicken their pace. They couldn't make them go any faster, no matter how hard they tried. These officers were dancing against the beat of their own drum that night, using their own tried and tested method. The negative relished in this slowness, it gave Brennan more time to deliver his worse, and to finish what the negative had started. The universe on the other hand was tense, sending positive thoughts and energy towards the back room where the captured lay in wait.

_This __Way! __This __Way!_ they said again. _We still have one last card to play_, they said with determination. It was not over yet.

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><p>Brennan had calmed down, and after a strong drink was ready to continue his mission. He had several pieces of equipment he liked to use when inflicting pain, and had a preferred pattern of usage. Normally, when one method stopped being effective (or when he became bored), he would simply move on to the next. Water was always first, usually followed by a hammer and then next a gun. That should get him talking; a couple of bullets in the kneecap would do the trick he thought. If not, then there was always the electric drill, blow torch, or his personal favourite, the electric saw.<p>

Sam was given a short burst of energy, and was alerted by the sound of Brennan's returning footsteps. Brennan was holding a gun, but his focus was not quite there. In his mind Sam was still tied up, ready for him to inflict the next stage of his tortuous plan. He was not expecting him to be in the shadows waiting.

'I didn't wanna have to do this' Sam said, hitting Brennan hard in the abdomen with a shovel. He was taken by surprise and stumbled, allowing Sam to administer a kick sending his head crashing against the wall. Sam gave another kick to the face, followed by a second in which Brennan was able to grab the offending leg and knock Sam back onto the ground. Sam retaliated and sprung back to his feet instantly. He felt the sense of urgency in the situation, and his driving force was the hope of returning back to normality. He did not want to be here anymore, he had to escape, and knew this was his only chance. Brennan felt alive, the blood was pumping rapidly through his veins and he felt a sense of exhiliration. He gave a wild, almost demonic laugh, which made Sam slightly on edge. They both began to circle one another, sizing each other out ready for attack. Brennan had finally met an equal in both commitment and resolve, but more importantly love.

They started to spar; a jab, a duck, a kick, a punch, a hook with the elbow, so far an equal fought battle. There was no way to predict a winner at this stage, and both the positive and negative were on the edge of their seats. Whilst the negative jeered, hollered and hurled insults, the universe remained calm, sending prayers of love and reminding Sam what was waiting for him just outside, if he could break free. They were all there in full force, leaving the other pieces of the puzzle alone right now to fight their own internal battles. They would have to manage alone for now, as this was far too important and needed their full attention. They still held that last card to their chest, poised for use if the need arose, but they hoped it would not be necessary.

Both men fought some more. Sam managed to gain control, gripping Brennans arm tightly, snapping it back akwardly, and delivering several strong blows to his face. Each blow was accompanied by an unwelcome grunt from Brennan. It was close with control constantly switching from positive to negative at an alarming rate. Then suddenly things changed, Sam was becoming weak, and Brennan again had the upper hand. Brennan was choking Sam, his arms hooked tightly around his neck. Sam could feel the air leaving his body and the last of his resolve slipping away. The room was beginning to dim and he felt himself floating as if he were a leaf falling from a tree. Everything seemed to slow down, his breathing became more raspy, and it would seem this was how things would end for him.

_Every __action __has __a __reaction_. This was something the universe held as a core belief, and was the underpinning of their role. Right now, they needed Sam to react, to stay alert just a few minutes more. His family were only a few rooms away, edging closer to his rescue. Brennan heard their approach too and began to panic.

'Shut up, just shut up!' he hissed, squeezing Sam tighter, expelling the last remnants of breath from his lungs. The negative went feral, clapping and jumping in a crazed frenzy, urging Brennan to finish the job, and leave another large dose of misery behind.

The universe knew the time had come to play their last card, it was all they had left, and hoped to get the reaction they needed. It wasn't something they liked to do, revealing their secrets, but they conceded, making an allowance on this occasion. The universe liked to be a mystery, a thing which is not quite palpable but very much there none the less. They flourished in the blind faith of others, and found sheer joy in guiding others in making the right choices. They needed to keep him awake just that little bit longer; but he was slowly slipping away, entering their bright light.

_No, __No, __No,_ they urged, willing him to turn away from the light and hold on. It wasn't his time to meet them yet, but his energy was beginning to fade. It was now or never.

'Sammy?' a familiar voice said.

Sam could see his mother, she was smiling at him. Dark curly hair and a twinkle in her warm brown eyes. The bright light did not hold his interest no more, he could not keep his eyes off her. She was really there. He wanted to say something, but the vice like grip Brennan had round his neck was preventing him from doing so. All he could manage was shallow breaths as his method of communicating his pleasure in seeing her.

'You know I love you Sammy right? Always,' she said.

Sam struggled once more, trying to break free of his grasp, but it proved futile. Sam tried to stretch out his hand to her, but he was weak, and she was too far out of reach. She smiled at him again, shaking her head. She wouldn't take his hand.

This was all the universe needed, and good was now in control again. The cavalry had arrived, with guns and flashlights in tow, edging closer to the two bodies grappling on the floor.

'Let him go Brennan, Let him go! Don't you move!' Oliver commanded, whilst the other approached him with caution. Brennan let Sam go, and once the air filled his lungs again, the light faded taking his mother with it. Sam briefly remained still, then stood quickly, with an expression that looked like relief, but was in actual fact sorrow and confusion.

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><p>Brennan lay on the floor panting, with a huge smile on his face, and turned to look at Sam. It was over. His face was bloody, his body ached, and he was in all probability going to jail for a very long time; but it had been a blast. The ridiculousness of it all kept the smile on his face, that J.D had somehow made him 'feel' again. From the night at the bar, the conversation in his apartment, their heated discussion in the farmhouse and of course that fight. The man he should hate right now had brought him back to life.<p>

The universe contemplated Brennan's thoughts. He really was an intelligent and insightful man who just provided a striking depiction of recent events. He had a beautiful mind and a unique way of viewing things that was unfortunately wasted on him this lifetime. They had got to him too late this time around, but promised themselves, they would make things better for him next time. As he lay there with flashlights and guns pointing directly at him, looking up he saw 'Doreen', in a police uniform. And she still did it for him! He smiled, gave her a wink and softly chuckled some more. The situation was becoming even more ridiculous by the minute. The officers remained silent, but looked somewhat perturbed by his erratic behaviour. Brennan deduced if Sam was a cop, and Doreen was a cop, Candace was likely to be one too. How ironic he thought, the Toronto Police Department had single handily destroyed him and yet saved him at the same time.

Maggie would have liked his analysis of the situation, and would have spent hours discussing it with him as they lay in bed on freshly laundered white cotton sheets. Maggie always loved the feel of freshly laundered sheets, she said it made their lives clean. But it was not the sheets that made them clean, it was Maggie. Sweet Maggie. Brennan sighed.


	8. Chapter 8

**AN- Well, this is the final chapter, as I think it's finally time to put this baby to sleep. Thank-you so much for all your reviews and kind words, they really kept me motivated. If you get the time, please leave your final comments, especially those of you who have alerted and favorited, but have not yet reviewed. As always….Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>God's Good Grace-Part 8<strong>

Sam hesitated as he was about to leave the farmhouse. Oliver had told him that Andy was waiting outside, but he didn't know what to say to her. He couldn't begin to tell her what he had experienced with Brennan and what he thought he'd seen. Sam didn't want to believe he was hallucinating; he liked the idea of what he saw and how it made him feel. He needed to clear his head, and think carefully about recent events before speaking to anyone. He walked slowly from the house, torn, battered and completely exhausted. His body engine was officially on 'Empty' and there was nothing left in reserve. He walked slightly ahead from the others, one last attempt at demonstrating his independence and ability to stand alone. Looking ahead he saw Andy staring straight at him. She looked so fragile and vulnerable amongst the array of other uniformed officers bustling about. He was overwhelmed at seeing her there. Waiting for me? he wondered. He hoped. He needed desperately to feel her warmth, but he was afraid that if she held him, he would not be able to let go. He didn't want the others to see that, they had already seen a weak Sam, beaten within an inch of his life. That was already far too much exposure than he would have liked. He hoped she would understand why right there and now was not the time for discussing them and the situation they had found themselves in.

He stopped briefly in front of her and she held her breath, her eyes wide with worry and concern. She never touched him, much to his relief, although they were only a few centimetres apart. They began a conversation with their eyes. This was something they did often when working on the streets. As partners they had developed a non-verbal language that they used regularly to decipher how to approach difficult situations. He hoped she could understand what he was saying now as he simply did not have the strength or energy to speak. I'm here, I'm alive he began by saying. Her eyes said thank God! Are you ok? I'm so sorry she continued, I didn't know what else to do. So what do we do now? She was firing questions at him, he could see it in her eyes, but he just couldn't process it all at once. He rolled his eyes and walked away to the waiting car, it was all simply too much for him to deal with.

Andy watched him as he walked away, she felt crushed at his rebuff. She wasn't sure if she had just imagined the conversation they had just had. She wanted to run after him, to ask if they were ok and could they get through this.

_If __you __want __it __bad __enough, __anything __is __possible, _they murmured.

She needed Sam more than ever, after everything they had been through she did not want to just let him go. She knew right now that Sam needed time and space. She would give it, even though she didn't like the thought of not being near him. She could wait, she was not going anywhere, if he would still have her. So trying to contain her emotions, she climbed back into the cruiser and made her way back to the division, willing herself to stay strong and not to cry.

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><p>Boyd stood outside the men's locker room, 'trying' to look indifferent, but not doing very well. He felt like he was 14 years old again, anticipating another attack from Corey Edwards such as being hit repeatedly with a wet towel or having his clothes hidden. He was being irrational, he decided, that was a long time ago, and buried deep in the past. Besides, this was Sam Swarek, and he was different. He would understand the pressures Boyd was under running an undercover operation. He may shout a bit, but he and Boyd understood one another, they were friends. Admittedly he was nervous, petrified if the truth be told, but he needed to make things right. More to the point, there was another undercover operation being put together which he could still use Sam for. His highschool reunion was still two years away, plenty of time to salvage the situation, and get that promotion he desperately craved for.<p>

_Do __not __go __there! __Have __you __learnt nothing?_ the universe cried, shaking their heads in disbelief. He exasperated them at times, but they would always have a soft spot for Donovan and held him close to their hearts. He was one of their most complex plans, that was constantly re-writing itself every single day. He needed to stop trying to prove himself, and show others who they truly knew him to be. A sensitive soul, with a huge heart, who liked nothing better than visiting his elderly grandparents, whilst they told him stories from their past. Not very brave Guns and Gangs characteristics, they chided, so this little bit of information was probably best kept between themselves. Boyd continued to hesitate, distracting himself by staring at the notice board, but mentally visualising and preparing himself for Sam's wrath.

Sam stood in the locker room, he wasn't quite sure how long he'd been standing there. He was going over the events at the farmhouse trying to make sense of it all. He turned to look at a photo of his mother stuck to the inside door of his locker. It had been there as long as he'd been an officer at the divsion, but he couldn't remember the last time he really stopped to look at it. She looked beautiful in a bathing suit, smiling happily at the camera. He ran his thumb gently across her face and furrowed his brow. He still missed her. Alot. Slipping a fresh t- shirt over his head with great difficulty, he was distracted from his thoughts by approaching footsteps.

_Make __it __right __Donovan,_ they said, gently pushing him further inside. No amount of visualising could help him now.

'Sammy… Glad you're back man, glad you're ok.' He really meant what he said, however insincere the words may have sounded leaving his mouth. Sam looked subdued, which was both very uncharacteristic and unsettling. Boyd made small talk, keeping up the bravado, whilst inside he was anything but in control. Sam was trying his hardest to remain calm, but just hearing his voice caused him to tense and increase the desire to hit something. Sam was mad, and if his hand wasn't in so much pain, he would have punched Boyd's face there and then, or at the very least, his locker several times. Instead he chose to slam its door hard. Sending a silent message of his annoyance and displeasure of recent events.

'Don't even….cos you and that rookie…' Boyd said defensively, trying his hardest to deflect any blame from himself. _The __universe __sighed, _Boyd still needed them, and he probably always would.

'Her name is officer McNally, and two years on the job she's already ten times the cop you'll ever be,' Sam said with certainty, looking at him straight in the eyes.

'We're done,' he surmised, leaving the room before Boyd got a chance to respond and before Sam said anything more. He was already in enough trouble, without adding assaulting a co-worker to the list of grievances.

'Sammy come on…..' he pleaded.

Sam continued to walk away. He did not have time for Boyd right now, he wanted to see Brennan, he had to see Frank and most importantly he needed to find Andy. He needed to talk to her, and to feel her body next to his. Right now he was numb, and just having her near was the only thing that could bring him back to life.

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><p>Sam listened to Frank's ranting and raving, accepting it all with grace. He could have argued his point, that it wasn't his fault, but chose to remain silent. If he was truly honest with himself, he felt sad that his impeccable record was now tainted and he had managed to destroy any chance of promotion. Despite what he said to Andy several weeks ago, he had a ten year plan too, but was reluctant to say so at the time. He supposed old habits die hard, and he was accustomed to guarding his thoughts and feelings, although that was now beginning to change. His plan was to retire early, pay off his mortgage and open a small self defence school. It was a great plan that had altered slightly over the last few days to include the possibility of a wife and a kid (or two). But right now he needed to find Andy, so the sooner Frank finished talking the sooner he could leave. He never got to speak to her properly outside the farmhouse, and he hoped she realised that he was just too tired. But knowing Andy, and her tendency to over-think, she was probably thinking the worst. He couldn't let that happen, for despite it all he was glad they finally got to be together.<p>

He began to think about the first time they made love and what she said to him afterwards, about the universe, and his flippant response. Something happened to him tonight, something he could never understand or even dare to explain. It was a good thing she came back into the bar that night, he wouldn't be alive now for sure. Somehow she was able to figure out where Brennan had taken him, and they had managed to rescue him just in time. If they were five minutes later…..he shook his head at what the outcome would have been. Something made them arrive when they did, maybe it was just luck, and he supposed he would never really know the answer. Andy had put it all on the line for him that night, to help find him, and he was sure Frank was just as colourful in what he said to her, as what he was saying to him right now.

Finally he was allowed to leave and went to the female locker room to find her and from a distance saw her enter. There were things he needed to say to Andy, but he could not do it at work, so went to his car and waited. He had a good view of the entrance and would see when she exited. The pain that was pounding through his head told him it was time to go home and sleep, but he wanted Andy there with him too. She had become his pacifier, and he didn't think he would be able to sleep without her by his side. Besides, he knew the nightmares would come, and he needed her. He really hoped she wanted them to be together, if she refused him now, he may as well have died tonight. She had completely consumed him, and her essence was running through his body. He never got to answer her question of 'What do we do now?' He had the answer, which was in actual fact a question to her question.

After some time, he saw he leave, she looked exhausted, yet in deep thought. She walked slowly through the snow, her bag slung over her shoulder. He pulled his car into drive and began to move alongside her.

'Hey' he said, getting her attention. 'What happened?'

'I got suspended,' she replied dejectedly, walking closer to his vehicle. 'You?'

'I got yelled at,' he said, not quite focussing on her, '.. and then I got suspended.' His dry wit, did nothing to lighten the mood.

The universe encircled them one last time, and watched, cautious, yet still full of hope.

'Wanna try being normal together?' he asked, with a quiet trepidation.

Andy smiled softly. 'How we gonna do that?'

'I don't know,' Sam said honestly, shaking his head. '.. I have no idea.'

They stared at each other, and it seemed that it was just the two of them again, in their own private beautiful bubble. She felt so full of love for him, that her heart felt ready to burst. So without thinking she opened the passenger door and climbed inside. Their hands immediately found one another, lacing their fingers together without any hesitation. She turned to face him.

'No going back,' she said softly.

Sam raised her fingers to his lips and kissed them.

'I don't want to go back,' he said, and smiled.

* * *

><p>The universe was now ready to retreat. It had done all it could in carrying out their plan and now it was left to these two to turn the page and start a new chapter. They would continue to watch them from time to time, but they really could do no more. The negative was on a warpath and would wreak extra havoc in retaliation for their failings tonight, and the universe was needed elsewhere.<p>

They illuminated the couple one last time, sending them their prayers of love, peace and happiness.

_God's __good __grace, __God's __good __grace, __God's __good __grace, __God's __good __grace. _They sang one last homily to the two, and wished them well.


End file.
